THAT (that) wrote,

The Big Yard Fail

Well, we're reaching the end of our little experiment in the economics of scavenging.  The things we haven't sold on craigslist we drug out today for a big yard sale.

I'm never good-looking, but at 5:15 in the goddamn morning I'm the spirit of ugliness.

Powering up with some Puffins that I found for $1 in the clearance basket at HEB.

Houstonians, eyeing our wares.   WE got ALL of this shit for free.

"Oh, yeah, thassrite.  two dollah fifty cents in tha BANK."

When God Laughs.  He laughed this morning at 11:00 a.m.  He stopped for an hour or so, then laughed again really hard on all our stuff while we tried to escape His amusement with blankets and tarps.  I cannot tell a lie; I put the dress on the Halloween pumpkin statuette.

The take for this week was pretty miserable, but we had a team of 3 when we only needed two, and we're not through selling stuff on craigslist.  We made a good sale this evening.  We might eventually creep up to minimum wage.   I'm also going to sell my motorcycle in Houston, which is a major check off my list before I leave the country.

Financial considerations aside, it's been a blast hanging out with Jeromy and Vicki, laughing, joking, working hard during the day, drinking moderate amounts of beer at night... just being with friends that are like family to me. 

I've got some ads to write tonight.  Since it will be deleted when we either sell it or give up, I'm mocking up my ad for the giant Xerox typewriter here.  That's Jeromy at the typewriter, not really a homeless guy.

houston craigslist > for sale / wanted > electronics - by owner

XEROX MEMORYWRITER 620 - Giant 1980s Typewriter... It Works! - $25 (Montrose/Westhheimer)

Date: 2012-06-29, 12:14PM CDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here

Gather round me, children of the work environment, for I have news to tell. 

The mothership has LANDED. 

This behemoth has everything you want and need in a monstrously oversized piece  of 1980s office
technology. Gaze in awe upon this 1983 commercial. See how Dronette #2 senses that, without
upgrading to the new unit, she is so less than?

I think it's clear where YOU stand in this organization, Gladys. (Click image to go to youtube.)

What can this machine do? Everything. It can do everything. This thing would give HAL a gnawing
sense of Function Deficit.

This, my friends, this is where the magic happens.

These many essential renewable components, see how they are included? They will be right at
hand, the moment you need them.

I think it's trying to tell us something... OH DEAR GOD IT'S TALKING

This sweaty homeless guy wandered into the driveway while we were test driving the 
MEMORYWRITER 620. Turns out he once ran the accounts receivable division of a small 
midwestern towing company. He just couldn't leave it alone. Reliving the glory days, 
you know. We finally had to call the cops.

Could you ever get all the way to the other side? No, you could not. Because on the other side
is the FUTURE and you don't want to go there. You want to go back to 1983. And this is the
time machine that will take you. When you get there, you might want to think about making
better fashion choices than you did the first time around.

Well, I think you have all the information you need to act. Act now, because 1983 will never come

Delivery available for a small fee. I'm a motivated seller. Make an offer. :) Call or text: 936-652-1216 

Xerox memorywriter 620
  • Location: Montrose/Westheimer
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 3104498536

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