THAT (that) wrote,

Writer's Block: Ready for Your Close-up

You have been given an opportunity to have a movie made about your life. What actor/actress would play you? And what would the plot of the movie be?

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I shall be played by the people of Venezuela... all of them.  They will all, as one, be me.  Only a nation-sized ensemble could capture my many mercurial moods, my triumphs and passions, the vast range of my sweater collection, the many words I know for man-made objects of indeterminate utility: thingy, whatzit, gizmo, widget, etc., etc.

The plot will be based on the periodic table, but staged as a Bollywood musical, with garishly feather-festooned atoms dancing apart and whirling together, recombining in a bewildering and yet finite number of agglutinations, causing crackles of electricity to fly amid clouds of green smoke, wafting through a mad scientist's laboratory filled with thingies, whatzits, gizmoes, widgets, etc., etc.

Roger Ebert will give it two and one half stars.

Tags: writer's block
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