Congratulations. I have given up hope that I can speak to a human being in your employ with the authority to correct the simple mistake which has caused my inconvenience.
Foolish me, I thought that it would be a simple matter to update the email address associated with my paypal account. Little did I know that I had to create an entirely new account. Nor did I know that if relisted an old item on ebay, payment would by default remit to the previous account, (email@example.com), and there would be no way to retrieve those funds except to recreate the old account. This meant that I had to delist my bank account from my new paypal account, (firstname.lastname@example.org.)
Nor did I suspect that if I closed the old account (xxxxxxxxxxx) without completing the bank account confirmation process, my bank account would be forever banned from use by ANY Paypal account. You see, there was no warning of this during the confirmation process and I was too dense to infer it from the complete lack of evidence suggesting the presence of such a stipulation.
Well, although I finally did convince one of your telephone representatives that there was no mysterious third party using my bank account, and we did identify the source of the exclusion of my bank account as an oversight (by me, I admit it!) in the process by which I briefly reopened an old account to retrieve funds, there is apparently no power on earth that can override this iron law.
You do have one thing going for you, though: the exclusivity of your arrangement with ebay. If there was any other way I could receive funds electronically, I wouldn't give a damn about this glitch in your system. As it is, if I want my money, I must request a check from you. A check that takes "1-2 weeks" and costs $1.50 in "service charges."
Capitalist bureaucracy for the win!